The film gives no clue as to who or what established this pecking order. These baddies are eliminating nine good Loriens in numerical order Number Three meets his fate in the opening, thus letting the target fall to Number Four (Pettyfer).
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Also, it's flying because it's also an alien saucer.'Magic Mike' Star Matthew McConaughey: 'Trusting a Thong Is a Huge Leap of Faith'Ī brief action sequence that opens the movie establishes the fact that a handful of good aliens from the doomed planet of Lorien are being hunted on Earth by villainous ones called Mogadorians. Really big explosion, and then out of that explosion comes a speedboat, and it's on fire but looks really cool. Human Girl: You must take a ton of Ritalin. into space!īoy Alien stops a speeding car with his hands. Then maybe I wouldn't have run away from home with an alien.īoy Alien: I know you are, but what am I?Īnnouncer: This summer, prepare to blown away. I wish my mom would buy me something that cool-looking. Quickly, we have to run away, because the Mogadorians are after us to kill our entire species.īoy Alien: (Grabs magic amulet from his pocket, which starts to glow with unearthly light) I'd like to see them try! Girl Alien: (Sheaths sword) So the legends are true! You are Number Four! The tree falls and it almost falls on the Girl, but the Boy Alien runs really fast and holds up the whole tree with one hand right before it hits his girlfriend.īoy Alien: Argh! (Throws the tree and it flies a billion miles away.) She punches him but he blocks her, and then he punches her but she blocks it and then she does a back flip and lands on her feet and then she karate chops a tree and it falls down, because even though she is a girl, she is super strong. She sweeps him with her feet and jumps up.
(Oh yeah, she's a Girl Alien, too.)īoy Alien uppercuts Girl Alien. It is made of the same stuff as Wolverine's claws. Number Five pops out, with a laser sword that can shoot out plasma rays. We need to find Number Five.īoy Alien: (Puts on sunglasses, stares into the distance) A gazillion. Girl: But how will we ever be together if there will always be Mogadorians trying to kill you?īoy Alien: I don't know yet. What do you say, boys?Īliens from "Alien," "Aliens," and "Alien: Resurrection": Scrreeeeech! (Translated at the bottom: Your wish is our command!) Wow! Bad alien puts on sunglasses and walks away slowly from the really big fireball.ĭarth Vader: Bad Alien, have you destroyed Number Four?ĭarth Vader: Time to bring out the big guns. Garrrgh!īad Alien steps out of darkness to blow up an entire block in this really sick way, like "Independence Day" except better.Įxplosions. Old man yelling: You'll never fit in with the humans!Īnnouncer: They said no human would ever love him.īoy Alien: I shoot electricity out of my hands. Which brings us to the trailer of the next episode "I Am Number Five," written by Ms. (The film rights were sold a year before the novel was actually published.) In order to cash in on the supernatural success of YA novels like "Harry Potter" and "Twilight" - as well as the awesome merchandising opportunities in the kiddie market - Frey is going to have to look to even younger aspiring novelists to con into writing his books for him. Still, Frey is determined to make his formulaic alien love story pay off, even though only the first book has been released.
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His writing factory, Full Fathom Five, has already been outed by New York magazine as a " novel assembly line" which exploits its young ghostwriters by paying them very little but offering the incalculable experience of writing under a man that Oprah once scolded. 3 at the box office this weekend, which means James Frey is going to have a hard time finding more gullible students to write further sequels in his "collaborative" series.
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